Have I told you about the guy, with giant biceps, that lives with 300 alligators? You thought it was dangerous texting and driving, well, my friend Michael, at Gator Golf and Adventure Park, texts me while wresting alligators! Who says men can’t multitask?

I didn’t believe he was in a pen of man-eating dinosaurs doing such a thing, but I should have known better. This is the same man who feeds his twelve foot, seven hundred pound buddy, Hannibal, hot dog’s from his lips! So when the pictures came through in a message on my phone, I couldn’t contain my laughter.

People think I’m “touched” because I drive from Florida to Wisconsin each July with a pig and a cat as co-pilots for the summer. As you’ve probably imagined, most motels along the way do not accept pigs as guests in their establishment. So, unless I am sneaking Officer in, which is not as easy as you may think, I have to drive twenty-seven hours nonstop.

After talking with Michael, I am feeling much better, though you may not. Whenever he looks for a new car, his first thought is, “How many gators can I fit in the back?” Then there are his “road trips”. You think a pig is hard getting into a building, try a seven foot gator! However, not for Michael it isn’t. He puts the reptile in a duffel bag and inside he goes.

As soon as he enters his room, Mr. Alligator goes swimming in a bathtub full of water, while Michael secures the door behind him–except for that one night when the gator escaped at three am and he had to wrestle it back into the tub.

Next time you’re relaxing in a hot bath after a long day’s travel, think about what was in that bath the night before. You used to only have to worry about bed bugs and clean sheets, but not anymore. When you hear ruckus next door at three in the morn and you think it’s somebody having a more interesting night than yourself, you’re probably right. Most likely it’s Michael, wrestling an alligator–and texting.