The Botanical Boar

My neighbors simply didn’t know what to make of me. Young, single, living on a golf course in a deed restricted community, …with a mini pig, is not unusual too me, but other’s find that sort of thing shocking.
Though they’ve come to love my unconventional ways, I’m not sure how they will feel about the commotion coming from my place lately?

You see, I’ve landscaped this year, and now that it’s Spring, everything is blooming. Officer has decided he wants to help prune each time he goes outside to potty, and he has his favorites. Initially it was the September Born Porter Weeds, but unfortunately has chosen two politically incorrect plants as current favorites.

My neighbors have been listening to me yell at Officer about eating my landscaping, but to a novice’s ear, it just sounds like racists slurs coming from my backyard.
“Officer, don’t you even think about touching those Mexican Petunia’s. You better let go of that Wandering Jew!”

Before anyone gets any ideas, I also I have a White Flowering Crabtree.  Officer is just too short to reach it.

8 replies
  1. Nicholas
    Nicholas says:

    I am offended by the lack of interest in the ‘White Flowering Crabtree”! Officer clearly has preferential ideas about Mexicans and Jews but not Whites? I think Officer needs some diversity training! What kind of boar are you raising? (LOL… all of it)

    Reply
  2. Brent Mathieu
    Brent Mathieu says:

    Dear Lee, it’s not that I’m a mini pig, nor an officer. I declined Air Force ROTC commision. Still, I think I am a gentle man. Instead, I’m a Brent who is an Ent, in a city of trees. Sort of a shire, in Idaho. Presently, a bit flooded by record snow melt.
    I do gardening and landscaping. I have chickens, a free range rabbit, toads, frogs, cats. No pigs.
    If you need more story ideas, then contact me.
    Otherwise, I hope you are well, and would welcome an update.

    Reply

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