Red In the Hood
Here is the true story about our dear Little Red…
Big Red and Big Red Mama died in an accident in the woods. A tree jumped in front of
their horse, killing them instantly. Red was just a baby, and was raised by her paternal
grandmother. Sadly, Grandma was as nutty as a squirrel’s turd.
By age 6, Red was already supporting Grandma’s sugar habit; and by 18, Red was in the
Hood riding the pole, and selling her cookies.
With her basket full of Grandma’s daily “fix”, and high herself from whatever drugs she got from
her pimp/boyfriend, The Wolf, Little Red wandered to Grandmother’s house to deliver
chocolates and sweets.
Did I mention they called Red “little” cause she had a height disability, and stopped growing at 4’7”?
Anyway, when Red arrived, she was fascinated with Grandma’s appearance, but she was tripping.
Grandma was dead…undiagnosed diabetes.
When the cops arrived, and found Red in bed with Grandma dead…Little Red Riding Hood
blamed her shitty boyfriend, The Big Bad Wolf.
That’s how it really happened.