Therapists are like vibrators …

every woman over 25 should have one

—whether they admit it or not!

…and my Mother said,

“Karma’s a bitch!”


My Stepfather answered,

“Who’s Karma?”

(Watching the movie, The Big Short, with my Mother)

Mom: He’s really cute; who is that?

Me: Brad Pitt.

There’s a light at the end of the tunnel

…and it’s a train!

I like to sleep in


go to bed early.

You know you live in a small town when

there is no one left to date

but your ex-husband!

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