Therapists are like vibrators …
every woman over 25 should have one
—whether they admit it or not!
…and my Mother said,
“Karma’s a bitch!”
My Stepfather answered,
(Watching the movie, The Big Short, with my Mother)
Mom: He’s really cute; who is that?
Me: Brad Pitt.
There’s a light at the end of the tunnel
…and it’s a train!
I like to sleep in
go to bed early.
You know you live in a small town when
there is no one left to date
but your ex-husband!