Now Available!

Black Sheep Tries Bleach is an all-original collection of honest humor dealing with daily life and relatable situations. This book is the modern day survival guide for all who have struggled with life’s growing pains—and lived to laugh…
What doesn't kill you, makes you wish it did!
When life throws a curve ball...duck!
I used to believe it was more romantic for a gentleman to pick me flowers instead of buying them.  Until one day when he showed up with my neighbor's newly planted Rhododendron bush...roots and all!
When life hands you lemons...Shit, I'm allergic to lemons!
To avoid unwarranted advances from a suitor, do as I do and start a fight with your imaginary friend over whom he thinks is prettier. If that doesn't do the trick, excuse yourself so they can be alone.

Grey Gardens

You know your well on your way to Grey Gardens when the only one finishing your sentences is your mother!

Birth Control

Do you ever check the day of the week by your birth control? "Friday?!...Thank God! Yippie! Yeah!!"

My Response To Having A Man In My Life...

I need a man in my life right now, like I need another BOOB!  Just more baggage for me to deal with.

In Reference To My Last Relationship...

I didn't know my ex-boyfriend was a philanderer; I thought he said he was a philanthropist!