Maid Service

Your girlfriend does your laundry?  Oh man… She does your dishes too?!  Oh man… …AND she washes your dog?!!  Oh man, you’re lucky!!! As I listen to the guy on my left discuss his buddy’s personal life, it occurred to me… all men really want is a good-looking maid that puts out!   …humor happens

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You don’t have to wait for a New Year

to start a new day.

What doesn’t kill you,

makes you wish it did!

#FML Moment 22

Flirting, you become so flustered when you’re saying good bye, you slam your car door…WITH YOUR HEAD IN IT! When the poor guy asks if you are alright, you reply, “Oh, I’m fine. It happens all the time.” Really? REALLY! FML!!! …humor happens

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When life throws a curve ball…duck!

I used to believe it was more romantic for a gentleman to pick me flowers instead of buying them.  Until one day when he showed up with my neighbor’s newly planted Rhododendron bush…roots and all!

When life hands you lemons…Shit, I’m allergic to lemons!

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